If your wife won’t let you wear a bacon suit then it’s time to find another wife.
This bacon man will slap a vegan with his bacon backhand then give it a kiss with his bacon lips.
Real Hitler was a vegetarian, which means he was a prick. If he had looked more like a meateater (pictured above) history would have been a bit more peaceful.
This is not a bacon man. Notice the hipster glasses, limp noodle arms, 1980’s haircut and wedding ring? This is a vegan in a bacon suit. He has an angry granola wife. The only pleasure in his life is literature. Punch him in the face on sight and put him out of his misery.