Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Bacon Flavored Lip Balm

August 7, 2009

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It’s about time the cosmetic industry got on board with the deliciousness of bacon.  And if you kiss a vegan with bacon lip balm they will immediately burst into flames.  What else you would expect from the sages over at J&D’s, purveyors of baconnaise, bacon salt and all sorts of other delicious goodies.

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Bravo Brings on Natalie Portman to Ruin Top Chef

July 13, 2009

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In what can only be described as an act of unbelievable stupidity, the Bravo Network decided to destroy its popular Top Chef series by adding self-righteous vegan Natalie Portman as a guest host.  The Emmy award-winning reality show has built a large following by featuring up-and-coming culinary rock stars cooking artistic, delicious, and meaty dishes.  This reputation will certainly be put to the test when the producers ask chefs to cook bland, meatless food with a poop-like presentation.  Nobody will be surprised when contestants buckle under the pressure to produce a fecal-inspired meal to please Ms. Portman, who hasn’t made a decent movie since The Professional.

Accomplished chef and best-selling author Anthony Bourdain, who himself has served as a guest judge on Top Chef, sums up the restaurant industry’s feeling toward Ms. Portman and her cult of fellow vegans:

“Vegetarians, and their Hezbollah-like splinter faction, the vegans, are a persistent irritant to any chef worth a damn. To me, life without veal stock, pork fat, sausage, organ meat, demi-glace, or even stinky cheese is a life not worth living. Vegetarians are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit, and an affront to all I stand for, the pure enjoyment of food.”

[Via: Ecorazzi]

Oscar Mayer, Meateater Dies at 95 – Outlasting Michael Jackson, Vegetarian, By 45 Years

July 9, 2009

Obit Oscar Mayer

MADISON, Wis. – Oscar G. Mayer, retired chairman of the Wisconsin-based meat processing company that bears his name, has died at the age of 95.

Mayer’s wife, Geraldine, said that he died of old age Monday at Hospice Care, in Fitchburg.

He was the third Oscar Mayer in the family that founded Oscar Mayer Foods, which was once the largest private employer in Madison. His grandfather, Oscar F. Mayer, died in 1955, and his father, Oscar G. Mayer Sr., died in 1965.

Mayer retired as chairman of the board in 1977 at age 62 soon after the company recorded its first $1 billion year. The company was later sold to General Foods, and is now a business unit of Kraft.

[Via: Associated Press]

Tactical Bacon Good For Overnight Vegan Hunts

July 7, 2009

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There’s nothing quite like the experience of popping open an icy cold can of Tactical Bacon after hunting vegans all day in the sun.

Yum.

Bacon Climbs Mountain, Sings to Angel

July 7, 2009

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Actor Kevin Bacon scaled new heights while raising money to fight cancer and honoring fallen angel Farrah Fawcett.

The 50-year-old actor hiked the 14,110-foot Pikes Peak Saturday to play a concert for the Love Hope Strength Foundation.

“It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done physically,” said Bacon after the roughly six-hour climb. “I’m in pretty good shape, but it still really kicked my ass.”

Kevin Bacon, his brother, Michael, and about 95 hikers climbed the peak for the Bacon Brothers‘ performance. The “Footloose” actor took a puff of oxygen before the folk duo’s performance.

[Via: NY Daily News]

Intercepted Alien Conversation: Humans are Made of MEAT!!!

July 3, 2009

This conversation was intercepted by the Hubble Telescope somewhere outside the Milky Way. In it you can hear two alien voices discussing the human race and the fact that, though sentient, we are in fact made of meat. Scientists are working around the clock to determine if this conversation is between two aliens or two angels, either of which would prove ground-breaking.

Build Your Own EasyJo Meat House

July 2, 2009

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~20 sausages
12 rashers of bacon
1kg of sausage meat
2/3 a packet of bread crumbs
= 5870 calories…

[Via: MeatYourMaker]

Meat Love

July 2, 2009

At MeatCandy we love meat. Love it. But it turns out meat actually loves each other.

If raw meat can love, which this video proves, then why is every vegan I know so full of hatred for life?

Eat some meat and get over it, vegans. If life is love then life is meat. Get some protein and shut up.

Seal Meat Becomes Tasty Delicacy in Canada – Finally!

July 2, 2009

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Three cheers for our brothers to the frozen north who have taken to eating the finest meat of all – cute meat.

From NY DailyNews:

Seal meat – from the same snuggly-looking sea mammals that are a pet cause of animal activists – is quite the culinary delicacy north of the border, where it’s served up seared and rare in fine restaurants, much like a loin of beef, The New York Times reports.

The “handful” of restaurants in Canada that serve seal have become unexpected tourist attractions, thanks to a European Union ban on imports of commercially caught Canadian seal products, the Times article states.

A little known fact about seal meat: They use heavy steel clubs to tenderize it.

Carnivore Win

July 2, 2009

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Via FAIL Blog, Passive Agressive Notes