We haven’t had the chance to taste this, but we’re pretty sure it would be even better with a side of vegan.
Archive for the ‘Meat’ Category
In our continuing coverage of machines that are good to run vegans down with we bring you the meat bicycle – because sometimes those pesky vegans get places where your meat car can’t drive.
Of course this is just a frame, but making a pair of tires is a breeze if you follow our simple recipe:
2 bicycle tires
2 bicycle tubes
Take a bicycle tube and attach it to the mouth of your vegan. The vegan should have enough hot air inside it to fill the tube immediately. Be careful not to overfill. Vegans are full of so much hot air that you might risk exploding your tube. Next, put the tube inside your tire and attach the tire to your meat bike. Repeat process for second tire. When you have finished you will notice that your vegan will still be full of hot air. Try force-feeding it some meat. If that doesn’t work then simply punch it in the stomach and let it go free, as you would with an invasive species of fish that you don’t care to eat.
No other car on the road strikes fear in the heart of a vegan quite like a meat car.
Attract the vegans with garnish then let your meat engine roar. The last thing they’ll see as they pedal their fixed gears away in horror is 3,000 lbs. of meat bearing down upon them. It is best, right before you run them down, to rip a big hunk of meat off the door and let them watch you eat it.
[Via: Art Car Central]
Ever heard of Etsy? It’s an online marketplace for homemade jewelry and trinkets. But what online marketplace would be complete without someone offering beef jerky panties? At only $139 per pair, beef jerky panties are “made to order for each specific customer from the highest quality of dried preserved meats we can find at the closest convenience store”. The untreated jerky is not for eating, but another health warning of sorts states: “Rumor has it that wearing our brief jerky undergarments will release their natural pheremones once your body heat and moisture kicks in!”
Buy your own pair of beef jerky panties here.
Nothing’s better than combining the pure beauty of raw meat and ladies. Dating tip: meat eating girls just have that extra oomph that you’ll never find in a vegan.
[Via: English Russian]
Most of us pay attention to advertising, and so when a product is touted as “healthy” or “nutritious” we put it at the top of our shopping lists. Well even meat is good for you! Don’t let your vegan friends get you down; meat is a delicious and nutritious product that you should never shy away from. And these ads prove it:
Whenever you look at raw meat you see the hand of God. For example, this photograph clearly portrays ancient mankind as we were in the Garden of Eden: hot and covered with raw meat.
Due to their meat clothes, Adam and Eve and Steve always had enough to eat. Whenever they were hungry they just reached down and tore a piece off their clothing. But as all good Christians know, paradise was not to last. Eve, that dirty God-hating tramp, decided to experiment with veganism, an act which God strictly forbade.
Ever since she touched that proteinless apple to her lips, the entire human race has been cursed with pain and suffering, not to mention a butt-load of vegans.
That is why our meat mafia is here to set the record straight. Once we cure the world of vegans and vegetarians, God will once again come to earth and we will be rewarded with meat suits.
Carrot Top VS Kevin Bacon
Fiona Apple VS. Mia Hamm
Meatloaf VS. Jack Lemmon