In what can only be described as an act of unbelievable stupidity, the Bravo Network decided to destroy its popular Top Chef series by adding self-righteous vegan Natalie Portman as a guest host. The Emmy award-winning reality show has built a large following by featuring up-and-coming culinary rock stars cooking artistic, delicious, and meaty dishes. This reputation will certainly be put to the test when the producers ask chefs to cook bland, meatless food with a poop-like presentation. Nobody will be surprised when contestants buckle under the pressure to produce a fecal-inspired meal to please Ms. Portman, who hasn’t made a decent movie since The Professional.
Accomplished chef and best-selling author Anthony Bourdain, who himself has served as a guest judge on Top Chef, sums up the restaurant industry’s feeling toward Ms. Portman and her cult of fellow vegans:
“Vegetarians, and their Hezbollah-like splinter faction, the vegans, are a persistent irritant to any chef worth a damn. To me, life without veal stock, pork fat, sausage, organ meat, demi-glace, or even stinky cheese is a life not worth living. Vegetarians are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit, and an affront to all I stand for, the pure enjoyment of food.”