Meat Bicycle Frame


In our continuing coverage of machines that are good to run vegans down with we bring you the meat bicycle – because sometimes those pesky vegans get places where your meat car can’t drive.

Of course this is just a frame, but making a pair of tires is a breeze if you follow our simple recipe:


1 Vegan

2 bicycle tires

2 bicycle tubes

Take a bicycle tube and attach it to the mouth of your vegan. The vegan should have enough hot air inside it to fill the tube immediately. Be careful not to overfill. Vegans are full of so much hot air that you might risk exploding your tube. Next, put the tube inside your tire and attach the tire to your meat bike. Repeat process for second tire. When you have finished you will notice that your vegan will still be full of hot air. Try force-feeding it some meat. If that doesn’t work then simply punch it in the stomach and let it go free, as you would with an invasive species of fish that you don’t care to eat.



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