Archive for June, 2009

Meatcandy Craft Hour: How to Make a Meat Dress

June 30, 2009

Jia's Meat Dress

If you are looking for the perfect evening wear for a full night of harassing vegans, this sleek, sexy meat dress might be the answer.  Produced by costume hobbyist Jia and modeled on her website, this salami and bacon number is a perfect way to express your carnivorous style.

Salami and bacon were Jia’s meats of choice based on their workability and meatiness, although she admits that ham, prosciutto, jerky, and even hamburger are possible substitutes.

“I chose salami because it’s thin, keeps in one piece, and is quite cheap, and bacon because it looks very, um, meaty,” she writes.

After layering the meat over a cotton liner dress, Jia placed a layer of clear vinyl on top.  It is very important to seal the bottom of the dress in order to catch the inevitable meat drippings.

So if you want to make friends with a lot of dogs, or piss off the hoards of self righteous vegans, give the meat dress a try.  Just remember, it is recommended that you store the meat dress in the refrigerator, not the closet.

Dog-Eating Razorback From Western Australia = Good Eatin’

June 30, 2009

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This wild pig was caught in Roy Hill Station, Newman (Pilbara) in Western Australia. They only caught it because their dogs were going missing. Apparently this big bastard was eating them!

If there’s one kind of meat we don’t eat here at MeatCandy, its dog. But we do love a swine that’s had some australian shepherds marinating in its stomach for a few days. Yum.

Git out the roastin’ stick, boys!

Celebrity Showdown: Meat Names VS Veggie Names – You Be the Judge

June 30, 2009

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Carrot Top VS Kevin Bacon

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WCUP CHINA US

Fiona Apple VS. Mia Hamm

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lemmon_lMeatloaf VS. Jack Lemmon

Our Meaty Superhero: Defender of Meat, Destroyer of Vegans

June 30, 2009

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Meat Man: Defender of meat. Destroyer of Vegans.

Songs By Bands Named After Meat

June 30, 2009

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1. T-Bone Blues – T-Bone Walker

2. Paradise By The Dashboard Light – Meat Loaf

3. Up On the Sun – Meat Puppets

4. Long Way Down – Swinging Steaks

5. Zombieland – T-Bone Burnett

6. How We Ended Up Under The Wheels – Beef Terminal

7. Sweet Child – Mr. T-Bone

8. Waste – Red Red Meat

9. Your Mind Belongs To The State – Meat Beat Manifesto

10. Shack – Acoustic Sausage

11. When I Get Drunk – Pork Tornado

12. Wing Man – King Beef

13. Xstacy – Rib Tip

14. You No Understand – Beef Jerky

15. Time Waits For No Man – The Pork Dukes

16. Toyz 1988 – Sausage

17. Totally Epic – Bacon And Egg

18. Sharks In The Water – Meat Sandwich

19. You’re Nobody – Capt. Meat

[Via: YahooMusic]

Meat Belts Go Good With Cigarettes

June 30, 2009

Meat belts are not only good for spanking naughty Vegans. They also come in handy when trying to maintain popularity in high school.

The troublesome thing about this video is that the ending seems to imply that wearing a meat belt and smoking cigarettes are both things that are strange and uncool. But what the advertising company surely meant to imply, and what we in the Meat Mafia all know to be true, is that meat belts not only go great with cigarettes, but improve your chances of getting laid. So take a big, bloody bite and smoke up, kiddies!

Bacon is a Religion

June 30, 2009

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Here’s your Meatcandy thought for the day.

Meat Around the World: Swedish Blodpudding

June 30, 2009

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From now on, every week Meatcandy will be bringing you meat from around the world. We want to make sure meat lovers everywhere know the options available to them… no matter what corner of the globe they find themselves in, and today’s comes from Sweden.

Not meat per se, yet made with a large amount of pig’s blood, blodpudding (easy translation: blood pudding) is a common staple in Swedish households. Commonly served with lingonberry jam, this delectable Scandinavian concotion is of course preferably consumed with a whopping side of bacon. Smakligt!

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Top Ten Vegan Foods that Look Like Poop

June 30, 2009

1. The Vegan “Pepito” – otherwise known as the poop sandwich

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2. Top row, center: vegan chocolate mousse, good for fertilizing the garden

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3. Vegan Boeuf Bourguignon – those fresh sprouts come out every time a vegan takes a dump

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4. Vegan Pizza – or diarrhea on a crust?

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5. Vegan Stew – or the next day after I had Chinese food at the baseball game?

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6. Vegan Fish-Shaped Carrot Cake or tremendous log?

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7. Strawberry Vegan rice krispie Treat. Yeah right. Try rice after a bloody bowel movement from not eating enough meat.

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8. Vegan Bangers and Mash or Euro turd?

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9. Vegan Marshmellow Brownie – you can already see where the fly larvae are hatching.

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10. Vegan Cat Crap Cake

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Who are the poop-eaters among us?

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The Bacon Brothers

June 30, 2009

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Whether gathered around a holiday roast or draped in finally tailored suits of bacon, the dead flesh of animals brings families together.  It also proves my long trusted theory that there is nothing that cannot be improved by wrapping it in bacon: steaks, hot dogs, children…vegans?

Via: Awkward Family Photos