Bravo Brings on Natalie Portman to Ruin Top Chef

nportman

In what can only be described as an act of unbelievable stupidity, the Bravo Network decided to destroy its popular Top Chef series by adding self-righteous vegan Natalie Portman as a guest host.  The Emmy award-winning reality show has built a large following by featuring up-and-coming culinary rock stars cooking artistic, delicious, and meaty dishes.  This reputation will certainly be put to the test when the producers ask chefs to cook bland, meatless food with a poop-like presentation.  Nobody will be surprised when contestants buckle under the pressure to produce a fecal-inspired meal to please Ms. Portman, who hasn’t made a decent movie since The Professional.

Accomplished chef and best-selling author Anthony Bourdain, who himself has served as a guest judge on Top Chef, sums up the restaurant industry’s feeling toward Ms. Portman and her cult of fellow vegans:

“Vegetarians, and their Hezbollah-like splinter faction, the vegans, are a persistent irritant to any chef worth a damn. To me, life without veal stock, pork fat, sausage, organ meat, demi-glace, or even stinky cheese is a life not worth living. Vegetarians are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit, and an affront to all I stand for, the pure enjoyment of food.”

[Via: Ecorazzi]

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2 Responses to “Bravo Brings on Natalie Portman to Ruin Top Chef”

  1. barearms Says:

    Yeah, except Bourdain has a sense of humor.

  2. Vegan Says:

    Portman will not ruin the show, the show is supposed to be challenging and that is why they will be cooking vegan food. Which by the way is not bland at all, you ignorant fool. I rather eat grass than eat a food that has been forced to spend its whole life inside a small cage, while being given drugs to increase its size to the point in which its own body cannot carry its own weight

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